Saturday, June 8, 2013

Where the hell do I get my relationship advice from?

Short Answer: Don Juan Discussion. I actually read this forum quite religiously.


Long Answer:

[I mostly speak from a guy's perspective in this post. If you're a female and having trouble with a guy walking all over you, then flip the genders. If he's abusive,  call the authorities and end things asap!]

So I was talking to a friend the other day, and he told me he saw all of the relationship advice I give to people on CSUSB Confessions. Huh! I didn't know people on my friends list saw those posts!

I don't think he's known that I give relationship advice to others, and I have been for years. He kind of took it as a surprise and said "You're the last person to be giving relationship advice!". Well, actually I'm not.

I particularly tend to post if the guy is being stepped all over by a girl, or if he's being cheated on and giving her another chance.

No one deserves a second chance in those regards. Once they're a cheater, they're always a cheater. It's not a matter of 'if'. It's a matter of 'when'. Men don't deserve that kind of treatment or get their kindness taken advantage of.

Having been in that initial hurt/pain, I am much happier than I ever was when I was being all stepped over. Dump the zero!

I was really in a depression for a good half of a year after my breakup, my friends and family and classmates saw that I was a totally angry/depressed person in that slump. What really got me out of it all was initiating what I would later learn in the link I posted below as "No Contact" in early-2011, two years after it ended. I started looking for advice online on how to become a better person, and how to not become so cynical and depressed.

I found this forum, and it's greatly helped me become a better person. It taught me that I don't deserve less than perfect. I should be who I am, and not let people walk over me or wait for those who have done me wrong.

Unfortunately, I see mostly male friends on Facebook (I won't mention names) going head over heels for a girl that will never like them back. It's not the girl's fault, he commits to all of what she wants, and she knows it. She knows that she can walk all over him and get anything she wants, all while getting it on with her friends-with-benefits and leaving this guy who truly cares for her in the friend zone. Now, I'm not saying friend zone because the girl is in the wrong. You can't change her attitude, but it's the guy pining for her. I do know that there are many women that would kill for the kind of affection that he's giving her, and he doesn't see it because of the rose-colored glasses.

The forum would call him being an "AFC" (an average-frustrated chump). My goal is to never be an AFC again, and trust me, I used to be one. Now I'm not saying be sweet and romantic and get walked over, but girls get tired of the hard-to-get. They want a challenge. They want to be surprised, spontaneity. It keeps the fire going. If a girl you're interested in texts you (Hell, if she is not initiating most of the time anyway, she's not interested), don't text back immediately. Wait twice as long as she texts you. It builds anticipation. It's subtle, but it works!

If you're having trouble with an ex or a recent breakup, please read this guide on No Contact. This thread helped me more than anything, and I am happy to say after two and a half years NC, I'm very happy!

That's the end of my thoughts on this. Until next time!



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